


forever isn't long enough

by regalremedy



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Angst, Death, Heavy Angst, M/M, Memories, Poor Alex - Freeform, i wrote this in like half an hour, im not sorry, no beta read, this is just angst, this is short, why am i like this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:29:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29936208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regalremedy/pseuds/regalremedy
Summary: He finally knew what people meant when they said that the greatest romances of all time never lasted. Because of course, they just had to end.ORThe one where Henry dies and Alex is left with their memories.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	forever isn't long enough

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like, 30 minutes. I'm going to cringe at the typos later on. This is just a very short one shot that I wrote instead of studying for my Hindi test.

Alex barely remembered the funeral. It had passed in a blur, with everything being recorded and shown to the public on the TV and the radio. If Alex could have it his way, he would not have a funeral at all. How could he? _How_ could anyone even expect he would? Alex closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, his daughter Ava buried her head close in Alex's shoulder. There wasn't a lot of crying. No, everything was being watched by the whole world. But still, Bea had broken down in tears, with Ava clinging to her. Alex did not remember if he had cried or not, he barely remembered anything since they got the news in the hospital. Everything was going just fine. He didn't know how things had gotten so wrong. Two days ago, Henry was completely fine, laughing in their house, cuddling with Alex, teaching Ava to play the piano. Why did the universe hate him so much? They took the one person he loved more than anything in the world, more than even himself. If it were up to him, he would snatch Henry and run away from everything and every person who hurt him. He would give _anything_ just to hear Henry's voice again.

But oh, it was just wishful thinking now. For how could he see him again? Feel him? Hear his laugh? How would Ava get the love of his dad? It was all just too much.

He still remembered the day they adopted Ava, how nervous Henry had been. He chuckled lightly at the thought and placed a small kiss on top of Ava's head. Henry had given him so much and he still had a piece of him _alive_ and he would never let her go.

_Henry had been pacing since forever to the extent Alex was worried for their maroon carpet underneath. He had tried getting his attention but to no avail, it seemed that Henry was too occupied thinking about the worst outcomes even though both of them knew how good Henry was with children. Alex just knew that Ava was going to love him._

_They had met her once before, her light brown hair had been cut short and her wide blue eyes had looked terrified. They weren't like Henry's, no Henry's were like the ocean. So deep and mysterious, Alex could drown in them if it meant Henry would look at him. Ava's were a little to the violet side, still pretty. But Alex had to say he was biased._

_"Relax H, it's going to be alright." He tried again._

_Henry stopped and looked at him, sighing deeply. "But what if it's not? What if Ava hates it here? What if she can't get over her family’s death? She's just 7 years old Alex, what if—"_

_Alex pulled Henry on the couch besides him and hugged him. And that was it. Alex kissed Henry on the cheek and said, "She is going to adore you darling. We both know that. Now why don't you calm down before she arrives?"_

_Henry grinned at him, and god, Alex could just die right there. That smile lit up his whole face._

_And Ava had arrived, small and frail. Henry had charmed her the moment she came. Alex had taken her to the dining table, they had talked for hours, until eventually she had fallen asleep with her head on Alex's lap. Henry had looked at both of them with so much adoration. That small feeling had bloomed in Alex, that small bud of euphoria._

_Family._

Now six years later, they were really an amazing family. They were going to celebrate Ava's 13th birthday next week. God, why did this, everything had to happen? Alex did not have it in his heart to cancel the party Henry had been so excited about. He would never have the heart to cancel something Henry was so excited and happy about.

But Ava had outright refused to celebrate. The implication was clear: _She did not want a party where her Dad was not present._

Alex had barely been able to stop himself from bursting into tears. He did not know how he would be able to go on, really.

Henry had left, oh so suddenly, leaving Alex gasping for air. Nobody had expected it, nobody ever could have. He just did not understand how Catherine and Bea were dealing with this, knowing they have faced the exact same thing before. He even felt for Philip, which never happened. Perhaps it was the knowledge that he had seen the look on Philip's face when they had announced the news, the crumbling utterly broken expression quickly guarded by the emotionless wall.

Alex wiped his eyes, he would not cry, he needed to be strong. For himself, for Ava, for _Henry_.

He touched the second ring on his necklace: the one added just yesterday, a plain silver band with small engraved roses. He wore an identical one himself, just in the colour gold. He went back five months in time in a single moment.

_They had always wanted to get married. That was a fact. But they did not really know when. And they knew it on their trip to Paris. Alex just knew it was the moment. The feeling of deja vu was so hard, making him dizzy with blissfulness. Ava was in DC with June and Nora while Henry and Alex decided to take a trip to Paris._

_They were sitting on a small bench when Alex said, "Marry me."_

_It was an unspoken vow between them, really. They were married in everything but name, they lived together, had a daughter together, already acted like an old married couple, they just haven't made it official._

_Henry had been surprised to the extent he spilled his tea over himself, because, of course, the statement had come out of nowhere. And then he laughed. "Aren't we already married?"_

_Alex slammed his foot on Henry's. "You know what I meant baby."_

_Henry chuckled yet again and said with utter honesty: "Then let's do it."_

_Alex brightened, "When?"_

_"Spring sounds nice, don't you think?" asked Henry, still wearing that amused expression._

_Alex frowned. "But summer."_

_"Compromise then."_

_And so they had spent the entire day planning things out._

They hadn't announced anything, not yet. They were going to, at Ava's birthday party. And now they would never get the chance. Alex would never get the chance to say the vows at the wedding, he would never get the chance to have pre wedding photoshoot, he would never get the chance to kiss Henry's stupid face when the priest would announce them wed finally. He would never get married unless it was to Henry. He didn't even know if he would ever move on. Deep down, he knew he wouldn't. Deep down, he knew Henry was just _it_ for him. Henry was his forever. But it seemed forever didn't last long. He finally knew what people meant when they said that the greatest romances of all time never lasted. Because of course, they just had to end.

He remembered when he had told Henry that he would always be his beautiful prince even at the age of 60 and it just hit Alex like a train. He would never get to see Henry at the age of 60. He was frozen in time, just like Alex was.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments if you like it!


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